Walk of Life
In every walk of life, there will be ups & downs, chills & thrills, blablablahh...
I went to my gramma's house on Saturday & again Sunday. I don't remember seeing so many relatives visiting before. I don't even remember seeing so many of them at CNY reunion. But they were mostly there to console my gramma.
I did not feel much pain or sadness when I first heard that my uncle passed away. But after my trip back home & seeing some relatives red faces & eyes swollen from cries made me feel sad. I feel sad that my cousins (his son & daughters) has lost a good father, his wife for losing a good husband, my gramma who cried & didn't sleep for days for losing a good son. I didn't have much memory of him. But from what I heard, he was a great man.
Conversations made me think of my own life. I feel a very mixed emotion. Sad. Anger. Frustration. Denial. What have I done in my life? I feel like I have been dictated my whole life to do this & that. Is following orders actually something good? I don't think so. Is being protected by someone else good? Don't think so either. Being protected doesn't make you strong. It kills you...slowly. It killed my self-esteem. It made me built walls around me to avoid strangers as much as possible. It made me afraid of many things. What happened to all my dreams? I had to leave them all behind while I go on fulfilling someone else's dream(s).
In less than a year, I'll be graduating. I do not know what the future holds for me. Different people in my life has different hopes for me. What am I suppose to do? Hurt others while I fulfill one of theirs?? What about what I want? I can't predict the future you know. I myself do not know what I really want yet. They seem to change with every major happening around me - be it birth, accidents or death. Please back out from arranging my future for me & let me decide what I want, 'kay? When the time comes, I'll just go with the flow. Why do I want to ponder over this & upset myself now for things that might or might not happen later? I appreciate what you've all done for me. I really do. But I can't go on building more walls around me. Don't deny me a life I want. Don't deny me my dreams. Perhaps later, I might move on & whatever I worry about now will no longer be my problem. Whatever it is, I just want to let everyone in my life, I love & appreciate each & everyone of you.
Someone asked me why I always say love you. I never really told that person the reason. Now I just let you know; that is because I do not know what happens tomorrow. I just want you to know that i love you. & I dedicate this song to all my love ones.. If Tomorrow Never Comes
Sometimes late at night
I lie awake & watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights & lay there in the dark
& the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel about her in my heart
* If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day that she's my only one
& if my time on earth were through
& she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
& avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel
*
So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes
I went to my gramma's house on Saturday & again Sunday. I don't remember seeing so many relatives visiting before. I don't even remember seeing so many of them at CNY reunion. But they were mostly there to console my gramma.
I did not feel much pain or sadness when I first heard that my uncle passed away. But after my trip back home & seeing some relatives red faces & eyes swollen from cries made me feel sad. I feel sad that my cousins (his son & daughters) has lost a good father, his wife for losing a good husband, my gramma who cried & didn't sleep for days for losing a good son. I didn't have much memory of him. But from what I heard, he was a great man.
Conversations made me think of my own life. I feel a very mixed emotion. Sad. Anger. Frustration. Denial. What have I done in my life? I feel like I have been dictated my whole life to do this & that. Is following orders actually something good? I don't think so. Is being protected by someone else good? Don't think so either. Being protected doesn't make you strong. It kills you...slowly. It killed my self-esteem. It made me built walls around me to avoid strangers as much as possible. It made me afraid of many things. What happened to all my dreams? I had to leave them all behind while I go on fulfilling someone else's dream(s).
In less than a year, I'll be graduating. I do not know what the future holds for me. Different people in my life has different hopes for me. What am I suppose to do? Hurt others while I fulfill one of theirs?? What about what I want? I can't predict the future you know. I myself do not know what I really want yet. They seem to change with every major happening around me - be it birth, accidents or death. Please back out from arranging my future for me & let me decide what I want, 'kay? When the time comes, I'll just go with the flow. Why do I want to ponder over this & upset myself now for things that might or might not happen later? I appreciate what you've all done for me. I really do. But I can't go on building more walls around me. Don't deny me a life I want. Don't deny me my dreams. Perhaps later, I might move on & whatever I worry about now will no longer be my problem. Whatever it is, I just want to let everyone in my life, I love & appreciate each & everyone of you.
Someone asked me why I always say love you. I never really told that person the reason. Now I just let you know; that is because I do not know what happens tomorrow. I just want you to know that i love you. & I dedicate this song to all my love ones.. If Tomorrow Never Comes
Sometimes late at night
I lie awake & watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights & lay there in the dark
& the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel about her in my heart
* If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day that she's my only one
& if my time on earth were through
& she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
& avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel
*
So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes
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