Some jokes...

This morning it was dark when I woke up. After awhile, it started to rain.. heavily!! Made me so wanna go back to bed... Then it crossed my mind that I have to walk to work.. .. then I sms Cheng to see if he could fetch me.. No reply. Called him twice.. Never answer phone.. What to do.. Call Boss lo.. ask him I can late a bit go office.. Cause if I am to walk in the heavy rain, by the time I reach office, all wet liao.. Boss say okay.. After the rain subside, then I walked to office.. & I got to office at 10.45am today... Hhahahhaha...

Now.. how bout some jokes?

Satanic Starbucks
A man died & went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him & gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were 3 rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity.
The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn't even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.
The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn't want that room & they moved on.
The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop.
The man looked for a while & then told the devil this room would be all right. The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker & said, "Break time is over! Back on your heads!"

Eating alone
The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees & minutes.
Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude & 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude..."
A student's voice broke the confused silence & volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone, sir."

Keyboard error
Person turns on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached & it gives a "Keyboard Error" message.
She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? There isn't even a keyboard attached!

Sale Woes
It was the day of the big sale. Rumours of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud & colourful curses.
On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, knocked around a bit & then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I don't open the damn store!"

Puzzle
Ah Lian was talking to her big brother Ah Beng over the telephone.
Lian: Ah Beng, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed eh, all the edges cannot fix together lah.
Beng: Jig saw puzzle... what picture, ha?
Lian: The box show a big chicken..
Beng: Okay lah, okay lah. I come over to help you lah.

Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.
Ah Beng examines the puzzle & says, "Stupid ahh, put back the corn flakes into the box lah."

Okay.. That's all for now... I better get back to work..